I’m not sure about you, but I am struggling to believe that April has passed and we’re a ⅓ way through the 2021!
Lockdown is also easing, where we can now go to non-essential shops, clamber over everyone just to get that £5 Primark tee. Or we can sit outside in the cold and rain having pints with mates, as you fuckers can’t be trusted to be inside just yet!
Normality is slowly coming back.
Monthly Thought: Neighbours from hell
It definitely has not been a good April for the Australian soap Neighbours. Several ex-cast members have accused the show of racism, and other toxic behaviour!
Shocked, but not surprised, unfortunately. The thought highlights a history of toxicity on the show.
This month talking points
I’ll be honest, April was not a good month to me, from a mental health perspective. In fact ‘Fucked-up Mike’ made his appearance again!
During this episode, like normal, I was struggling to understand why and how I felt like this.
However, speaking to my doctor I think it’s become clear I was struggling with the lockdown easing. This is is something that I have discussed previously.
While no-one has forced me to go to the pub, I’ve been feeling extremely uncomfortable with this pressure that I should be making an appearance. I feel like people don’t believe me. I feel forced that I need to go out. I feel judged. I feel distanced!
This isn’t about not wanting to see friends. I do. I’m just not ready for a sensory overload of loads people. So I want to take it slowly.
So having a small group of friends visit, and socialising that way is my preference for now. Which then also leads to feel anxious that I’m having to pick and choose people to come round in the vain hope I don’t piss people off…which I know I have!
So in return, these negative thoughts returned. Realising what was happening, I was quick enough to seek medical support.
Near the end of April, a couple of friends and I went into a day trip to Southport. While I had a good time with friends, it was difficult.
I wasn’t fully rested throughout the day. I kept away from large groups/crowded spaces. I was also very conscious that I didn’t want to ruin the day for the others.
There is nothing to worry about though. I’ve had conversations with my doctor, and we’ve temporarily increased my medication to help now. Additionally, I’m got an appointment for a telephone consultation for counselling in June.
I’ve had my laptop for a while now, and it’s been a reliable piece of equipment. However, with whatever update that Microsoft introduced in April, it well and truly fucked it up!
After giving it a clean-up, defrag and a virus check, while it did improve, the response times was still frustratingly slow.
The husby told me that I should buy a new laptop, so I snapped at the opportunity before he could withdraw the support.
So, I decided to buy myself a new MacBook. It wasn’t exactly what he was thinking, but it also wasn’t ruled out either.
And to be honest, prior to buying the old laptop I was contemplating on getting a Mac then. However I decided to stay loyal to Microsoft. That, and the fact that one of the computer programmes that I just bought was very expensive!
However, this time round I decided to swap. I think the issue with the update was the nail in the coffin for me.
And apart from having to get used to a few shortcuts, and other changes, I am loving the new laptop. I am definitely turning into an Apple fanboy.
As soon as it was possible, I got myself booked in for my next tattoo with Gaz.
I have had this Celtic Tree of Life design for a while, and I knew it was going in the bicep area, which is the last of the big spaces on my arm.
Knowing that it was going to be on a sensitive area, I applied some numbing cream, something that I have never done before. To be fair, that shit works, I couldn’t feel anything. Well, apart from the small area near my pit, that I forgot to cover!
The tattoo was the last of the large tattoos for the sleeve. I have one or two small tattoos just to fill in the bigger gaps. Once that is done, it will just be the shading. I can’t wait for this to be finished.
This tattoo also becomes my third lockdown tattoo.
I got my unicorn tattoo days before we went into the lockdown. Then the thistle tattoo in the middle. You know, when we got to taste freedom for 5 minutes, like we were on day release!
This tattoo will hopefully signal the end of the lockdown. Time will tell.
It has also dawned on my that some people who I know, have never seen my new tattoos, so that is kinda weird to think about too!