Kylie Christmas – The Review from A Christmas Hater

For those that know me, I’m a little huge fan of Kylie. You’ll also know that I am not a fan of Christmas.

So how would I feel if both things come together to create an album? If I said I wasn’t really that excited, it would be an understatement.

However, in the name of science, I decided that I give the album, Kylie Christmas, a couple of listens to see which side of the coin would win at the ‘Battle of Mike’.

So here goes:

1. It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

First song on the album, and I am already regretting giving it a listen. But to put me through the ordeal several times, is just plain torture! What have I done to piss myself off so much?!?

It is not something I would to listen too. It’s just too Christmassy!!!

2. Santa Claus is Coming to Town (feat Frank Sinatra)

Oh dear gawd, will this torture ever end? Another over-covered, over-played track. If it wasn’t for Frank, then it would of scored a little bit lower.

To be fair, I could just about listen to the track. Although, I feel like it’s missing the Kylie touch. There is so many versions of these songs out there, which sound exactly the same. So why just do a similar version of it instead of a Kyliefied version. Take risks, because, it can never be as bad as Justin Bieber’s version!

3. Winter Wonderland

This is just another typical Christmas tune. It’s alright, although I would prefer if this just appeared on a soundtrack to a Christmas movie. Most likely a straight to TV movie as well…which I am most likely never going to watch!!!

4. Christmas Wrapping (with Iggy Pop)

If I was ever to make a Christmas album (which is unlikely), then obviously the first choice of doing a collaboration track with someone, would be Iggy Pop!!!

On paper, this sounds like it has disaster written all over it, but begrudgingly I actually like this. Maybe it’s because it’s a song that was written in my lifetime, and has that little bit of a modern feel.

5. Only You (with James Corden)

Again, on paper this is something that you don’t think should work, but it does. And I really like it. A lot more than I thought I would. Maybe, because technically it isn’t a Christmas song. Although, in this version it does have that Christmas sound to it.

And I also agree with the recent comments that this song works better on the latest John Lewis advert.

6. I’m Gonna be Warm this Winter

It’s alright, if you like 60s style music. Personally, I couldn’t see myself listening to an album of music like this. Maybe if I was a little older by, say, a decade or two!

7. Every day’s like Christmas

I hope that every day is not like Christmas. That would be a nightmare!!! Saying that, this is actually a really good original tune.

To be fair, I would of preferred a load of original Christmas songs, like this, than having to listen to regurgitated and over-played tuneage.

Kylie is hoping to get a Christmas #1 with this track, and I would like to think she has a good hope in doing it. Realistically, I don’t think she will, which is a shame because it is worthy of it. Why the pessimism? Because the Kylie camp are failing with the promoting of her singles/albums of recent.

8. Let it Snow

Kylie previously released this track back in 2010. It ranked bad then, so why would you re-release it again.

Learn from your mistakes Kylie!

9. White December

Another original track from Kylie, and again one of the best on the album.

I feel like I would prefer this album more if there was actually more original tracks. A handful of cover songs is fine, but the songs chosen for the album is quite eclectic.

10. 2000 Miles

Definitely one of the the best cover songs on the album. I could listen to this while unwrapping presents or travelling to the parents’ house. It is an acceptable Christmas tune.

11. Santa Baby

Again, a re-release from 2000. And again in 2010. Maybe Kylie re-record it for the album, but I highly doubt it.

Personally, I would prefer another original track, than have to listen to this over covered song…again!!!

12. Christmas isn’t Christmas ‘til you get here

This is probably the most Christmassy original song to be released on the album. It’s also my least favourite of the originals.

However, I could listen to it…if I had to!!!

13. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

This song is too long…by 3 minutes and 21 seconds!!!

Apart from that, it’s a little slow and instead of filling me with Christmas joy, it’s filling me with an urge to punch someone!

14. Oh Santa

This Jazz-esque original number is the imagination of Santa Claus and the Chicago musical getting together and making babies. It’s something that you don’t think would work, but it does.

Kylie has been very vocal about releasing a Jazz album, and even started recording one in 2010 before scrapping it to record Aphrodite. After listening to this, I think she should finish the album and put it out there…officially.

15. 100 Degrees (with Dannii Minogue)

What’s better than 1 pop princess on a single? A pop princess and her disco diva sister!

This pop original is the best track on the album. So I am struggling to see why it was regulated to a deluxe bonus track. This should of been the track to release for the Christmas #1.

It makes me want to do Christmas in Aussieland – which would not be wise with my delicate sensitive skin.

16. Cried out Christmas

I think it’s fair to say that when it comes to being miserable around Christmas, that my name appears on the list…probably at the top! So this is probably why I like this track. End of!

So it transpires that I can listen to newer Christmas songs. Although saying that, it’s still not an album that I’d pick out and listen to on a regular basis. Maybe while doing the occasional Christmas activity, such as drinking all the sherry, as long as I can omit the tracks that are older than my mum, then I think I’d be happy.

As I said previously said, there was no need for Kylie to rely on cover songs. The originals were some of the best tracks on the album. Plus the older ones felt a little out of place.

However, the album was a lot better than I thought it would be. And that’s coming from someone who is a self-proclaimed Scrooge. If you like Christmas, then I think this is an album that you, and definitely worth purchasing. Although, go for the deluxe version!